One More Week

To stop train, pull chain..

Remember the cover art of Atlas Shrugged? Believe it or not, when you come to think of the person responsible for running the Indian Railways (if you think someone is really running it after all!) must be looking like that by the end of the day – occupational hazard if you are responsible for transporting 1.5x the Global population every year!

Borrowing from an old SAIL tagline – one can aptly say”There’s a little bit of Rail in everybody’s life”. People in NCR might have visited a very popular eating joint called “Sahib Sindh Sultan” in Ambience mall, Gurugram..but little did we wonder about the significance of the Royal sounding name. On 16th April 1853, the first passenger train ran between Bombay and Thane – the 14 carriages carried 400 people and was hauled by not 1 but 3 steam locos, Sahib, Sindh and Sultan. And since started the unstoppable story of Indian Railways – well till 23rd March 2020 at least. And what even wars couldn’t achieve, the lifeline of millions of traveling Indians came to an abrupt halt due to nanometer size adversary.

On the 19th day of our nationwide lockdown, I am reminded about trains and the freedom its generally associated with it. And with nothing best to do on a seemingly long weekend where you can’t step out, I thought its best to jot down my memories of trains – as a cocktail of facts, fiction & familiarity.

Top 3 Facts

Chittarnjan Locomotive Works – the oldest loco factory in India, is also the largest facility manufacturing railway locos in the world! Starting from steam engines to latest electric ones, the facility has produced all kinds. It started production on 26th January, 1950 – our first Republic Day
Size matters! Indian Railways is the worlds 8th largest employer (1.4mn headcount >1.3mn in Indian defense forces), is a major shareholder in 14 public sector entities like IRCON, CONCOR, IRCTC,RITES,CRIS among notables. Its also India’s largest landowner (4.7 lakh hectares, ~30% more than the size of Goa).
And that, despite all its shortcomings repeatedly being cited by the armchair strategists like yours truly, when it came to a national emergency like COVID 19, it quickly converted 5000 of its coaches into isolation wards for patients – that’s close to 80,000 beds, with a plan to convert a total of 20,000 coaches, if needed.

And that’s what again made me look upto the Service trumping Commerce angle all over again.

Top 3 Fiction

“Mere sapno ki rani kab ayegi tu” is perhaps one of the best train songs that has been shot in Indian movies. And as the memories of Rajesh Khanna crooning in an open jeep following Sharmila Tagore inside the famous Darjeeling toy train lingers on, the visual treat of the World Heritage train twisting and turning on the himalayan loops have long been the main draw for me.

2. Jab we met….the only time when Kareena Kapoor acted :P. The Mumbai to Delhi train ride also teaches us about the hitherto unknown (at least to me!) city of Ratlam! And the train do play an important character in the whole movie. My fav part…“Ab toh mera haath chhod do … itni bhi sundar nahin hoon main”

3. Chaiya chaiya from Dil Se..shot on top of the Ooty train..Nilgiri Mountain Railway..whosoever have tried boarding-deboarding a moving train can appreciate the effort of the whole crew in pulling off this one-of-a-kind shot!

Top 3 Familiarity

My first ever long distance train trip was aboard the Poorva Express, from Durgapur to Delhi – a distance of ~ 1300 kms, in the month of May, 1988. The wonder-stuck boy in me was soaking up as many experiences as possible in that 22hr train ride…from 3km bridge crossing the Son river, the lights at Allahabad station at midnight, to that one-off instance of a villager stopping an EMU train by waving his hand at the Tundla junction (imagine that!), this is one ride which still makes me pick a train ride anyday over other forms of travel.
In September 2003, a gang of boys took off from Ernakulum, Kerala for a trip to Durgapur, West Bengal. A last minute decision, we went directly to the station window to book our tickets, and got one for the next day itself! Considering ourselves lucky, we happily boarded the train….only to realize later that this trip gonna take 4 days – and across almost half of India, crossing states of Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Andhra, Madhya Pradesh, UP and Bihar..phew!! We learnt so much about the geography of India on those 4 days (and nights!) which no PhD thesis can match (like Mhow – a very important army cantonment housing the Army War College and the Infantry school for eg. )and tasting almost all kinds of biriyanis (malabar, andhra, lucknowi) that rail canteens had to offer.

3. Delhi – Durgapur ….now this is a very regular trip that we as a family do , but always look forward to it during the time of the Durga Pujas. What added loads of colour to the latest one in October 2019 was that we didn’t have a confirmed ticket till the time of boarding. At the end, once we reached the station, just 1 of us had a confirmed ticket (between the 2.5 of us). But I googled and found that it makes us eligible to board the train. Thankfully, a Rajdhani 1st AC is comfortable enough for 2 people and a baby to share 1 seat…icing on the cake was the other family traveling with us who took an instant liking to Ayam, and he ended up spending almost the full 14 hr trip on the laps of the new “train granny” :). Disclaimer: adjustment is key here.

So what’s your favourite memories around the rails? Do share, would love to hear!

The day my nation paused

Life in the times of social distancing (shot on my Nikon D7000)

I had written in January 2020 about my experience with solitude in the Andamans and the humbling feelings of confinement when I stepped inside the cellular jail. And here I am, sitting in March 2020, inside my apartment for 11th day and counting, with the world literally coming to a standstill due to the fear of Covid19. But amidst the constant bombardment of doomsday messages across all media, a strange feeling of “this shall pass too” acts as power shield around me. And I believe I have only my brush with the hard past at the beginning of the year to thank for this.

Recency effect clouding logic and sanity is perhaps the biggest malaise that world is currently going through. As a species we have a >200,000 years of existential history, and all far that we can go back in memory to compare our current precarious situation is 1918 Spanish Flu era. That’s a sample size of 0.05% and is statistically bound to give you an error margin of (+/-)10% for your analysis. I will definitely not sit in an analytical spacecraft which has that amount of variance when I am targeting to return to earth/sanity.

I am a self-confessed movie buff, and cannot help myself to quote something from “Pearl Harbor”. Jon Voight’s character of President Roosevelt is heard saying “But when I see defeat in the eyes of my countrymen, in your eyes right now, I start to think that maybe He brought me down for times like these when we all need to be reminded who we truly are, that we will not give up or give in.” In the movie the Americans go and plan a daring bombing mission on Japan and turn the tide in favor of the Americans. Am quoting this as most of my WhatsApp groups have overnight transformed into intergalactic news channels ferrying trainloads of doomsday statistics and “flattening the curve” has become international obsession. I have been labelled as a cynic for most of my adult life and true to it, I decide to turn a cynic on the flood of pessimism.

One sometimes finds, what one is not looking for
— Alexander Fleming^[13]

Human kind has been fighting a long battle against influenza virus, and must admit the fight has been a long drawn one. But what we tend to forget are the numerous fruits this war has borne us. In the year 1928, Sir Alexander Fleming was experimenting with influenza virus in the Laboratory of the Inoculation Department at St. Mary’s Hospital in London.Often described as a careless lab technician, Fleming returned from a two-week vacation to find that a mold had developed on an accidentally contaminated staphylococcus culture plate. And voila, humankind discovered penicillin, world’s first antibiotic- ending up saving millions of lives and completely changing the course of medical history. The impact of this lifesaver is felt none less than when Winston Churchill and his wife, on hearing his longtime secretary Elizabeth Layton’s marriage plans, asked her to have 4 kids – “One for Mother, one for Father, one for Accidents, one for Increase”.

So what’s giving me hope in these times?

To see the transformation of the so called island-multi-storied societies of modern day cities into quasi villages – in a classic Bharat meets India style. Our RWAs have taken over the roles of the age-old Panchayats as residents look upto them ever more hopefully for guidance and resolutions in these testing times. While we practice social distancing, we now know more neighbors and are coming closer as a community like never before. On a lighter note, if this lockdown persists we might see local barter economies, as in old villages, springing up as a necessity.

Hope flows when we crave to talk to our neighbors – over balcony chai sessions, despite the flood of OTT platforms streaming in our living rooms. Hope visits our doorsteps in the form of innumerable invisibles – home delivery people, Country delight milkman, the neighborhood grocer Vimal, the Get Well Pharmacy person, our security guards – as we all cower inside under the pall of the invisible virus, the indomitable spirit of these foot soldiers are our strength – and path to resurrection.

Most of us who flood the internet – journalists, researchers, analysts, bankers, cheap thrill seekers and are both the producers and consumers of the digital era information world are really too young to know the hardships the world has regularly seen ever since its existence – and recovered. The 3 Ps guiding me right now is Plan carefully, Prepare meticulously, but Panic less.

A journey to the abode of the clouds – Meghalaya

The trip to Meghalaya was a happenchance for us. We have been thinking of doing this, but North East was kind of elusive from our trip planner. So when we decided to plan a big bash for our parents’ 50^th Anniversary, we thought of adding on Meghalaya to this trip as well. And it turned out to be the perfect icing on the cake.

Day 1:

The gateway to Meghalaya is through its capital Shillong, but to reach there you first need to either fly or take a train to Guwahati, the capital of Assam. From Guwahati, Shillong is a very nice 2.5 hrs drive through picturesque mountains and a very gentle journey uphill. The roads are 6 lanes and world class thanks to BRO. There are few good eateries on the way, we stopped at one called Excelencia, and it was decent.

15 minutes before you enter the main town of Shillong, you come across its biggest lake, called umiam lake. Its serene waters are like a trailer of what to expect for the rest of your trip.

We decided to take rest after the whole day of travel and tucked ourselves in the cozy bed of our homestay in Shillong.

Day 2:

Next day we buckled up for a whole day of “touristy” sight-seeing. First drop was the highest point of Shillong, which is itself situated inside an Air Force base. So expect long queues for identification. The cheat is if you can start your day really early (7AM) to avoid the huge queues all along.

Next was Elephant falls, which is more like a collection of waterfalls (and expect to see them all along your trip, you can as well call Meghalaya Land of the Waterfalls).

Next stop was the Air Force station of Shillong. This is one of the very few active bases which is partially open to tourists and it houses active and decommissioned airplanes and air defence units. The museum is also kind of Wikipedia on Indian Air Force, their different platforms and feats. MUST SEE! Sorry, no pictures allowed!

We visited Don Bosco museum of cultural history post this. It’s a nice collection of life in North East with details of all the tribes and their way of living (you can skip this if you are not that much interested in learning the real tribal life).

We called it a day after this as we were traveling to Cherrapunjee (or Shohra as locals call it) the next day.

Day 3:

The drive to Shohra can be summed up in one word – floating! You have clouds flying inside your car if windows are not rolled up, and its plain awsum!

Just before Shohra…look at all the mountain tops all at same level

On his way, our driver took a detour and took us to a relatively new place “Ka Bri Ki Synrang park”, not known to many. This connection of caves and waterfalls was untouched by tourist volumes hence was pristine!

the mind boggling falls at Ka Bri Ki Synrang park

Next stop was the highlight of the day – something which was new one for all of us, exploring a cave deep down with fossils inside. We had to walk through narrow water filled slimy lanes, just enough for 1 person to fit in at places, rise a flight of steps on a rickety ladder and then squeeze inside a dark tunnel (claustrophobics beware!) and then drop around 6 feet down to get inside another cave. Word of advice – a guide is a must if you don’t want to get lost. Also, the guide would be able to help people with younger kids to carry.

And how can we forget the most famous landmark of Meghalaya, the “nohkalikai” waterfall!

After a hectic and momentous day, we decided to sleep off the tiredness at Café Cherrapunjee. After reaching their, we realised this was an old British era Duk Bunglow which has been transformed into a modern inn. The décor and feel itself calls for a stay here.

Day 4:

Day 4 was reserved for Dawki river (famed for the glass like water bed) followed by a stay at Mawsinram, Asia’s cleaned village. While June is not a time to visit Dawki, as the water becomes muddy due to rains (you best come between Oct- December for this), Asia’s cleanest village did live upto its expectations. You also get to see one of the living root tree bridge which Meghalaya is famous for here.

dawki, visit this only between october and january

And with that we wrapped up our short trip to the home of clouds, and feeling homesick without the daily doses of pollution, we flew back to Delhi :P.

Andaman Diaries

Had this been a century earlier, the planning for a trip to the Andamans would have been the business of the British Crown and the trip would have been all expenses paid. Just that it most probably would have been a one-way ticket – to hell! The Andamans today has come a long way from that and successfully transformed itself to a perfect tropical paradise, while still holding on to the scars of the painful past. This trip can mean many things to many people – a trip down Indian independence movements most painful memories, exploring the last few indigenous tribes left in the world, underwater dives to discover myriad sea-life, to the more relaxing white sands and crystal clear beaches. Ours was a relaxed mix of most of these – topped up by some culinary treats.

Andamans gateway to the outside world is through its airport situated in its capital Port Blair, and takes roughly 5.5hrs of flying time from New Delhi (if you are lucky to pick the right flights, they are costly and fly out real fast, so a little advance planning is advisable). The weather is awesome all the year round, with the max and min temperatures hovering around 30C to 16C resp, but is best enjoyed between October and March.

Port Blair – Cellular Jail and Ross Island

There are more to see in Port Blair, but we restricted us mostly to these 2 landmarks, just for the paucity of time. You have to give 2 days to Port Blair, just to accommodate the flight and ferry (yes, that’s the only way you can commute to the other islands) timings. Ingres and egress have to have 1 days each that way. Best is to plan Cellular jail the day you fly in (it stays open till 4PM, so plan accordingly) and Ross island while flying out.

Cellular Jail

Sometimes the smallest of places carries the biggest and heaviest of tales. Very little has been written about this place, which IMHO carries an almost equal if not bigger moral wound of the effects of British Raj as Jalianwala Bagh. The level of atrocities inflicted on the Freedom Fighters, mostly belonging to pre-independence Bengal and Punjab will numb your senses. History comes alive as you pass by each 15×9 ft cells as you realize that each of them have housed so many lives wasted, tortured, maimed and killed in the name of penal isolation. The British only sent the political prisoners whom they considered the most dangerous to the continuation of the colonial rule, and its question worthy why our history books are silent about these real heroes.

Many a walks on this alley which never came back

An example of the many freedom fighters who were sent to rot here

Ross Island

A 5-minute boat ride away from Aberdeen Jetty costing 350 bucks for a round trip, and you will land up at Ross Island. This was the erstwhile administrative capital of Andamans till a massive earthquake in 1941 forced the Britishers to abandon it and evacuate to Port Blair. Towards the end of the WWII, this island was under Japanese rule for 3 years and the Japanese airforce bombed the islands main structures to ruin. Today, nature has reclaimed the abandoned structures but its still a view to behold.

Nature reclaiming what was her right after all

Can todays buildings take in bombings and years and tsunami but still stand erect?

Havelock (now named Swaraj dweep)

We took a private ferry ride through Makruzz (costing roughly 1000 per person) from Port Blair till Havelock. It’s a 1hr15 mins journey and an experience in itself. The cruise is very comfortable and you do not really feel the choppy Andaman Sea much.

We were putting up at Silver Sands Beach Resort, and by far it has the best beach location that I have ever set my foot on.

The best way of travelling across the islands is to hire a 2 wheeler and zip across the narrow but well connected roads. The road network is simple and most eateries, commercial complexes and beaches are easily accessible. A ride comes at 500 bucks a day and there is just 1 petrol pump in the whole island, which closes after sunset, so better tank up!

One of the best beaches of Havelock is the Radhanagar beach, but we found beach no 5 as the most scenic and less crowdy. When at Radhanagar, do eat out at Barefoot. Their daab-chingri (prawns cooked inside coconut) is pure bliss.

One of the other gems at Havelock is Kalapaththar beach, which has a unique interlocking jetty built pretty deep into the ocean and it’s a wonderful experience to feel the rising and falling waves beneath your feet as you balance yourself on it. Its safe!

We had 3 days to ourselves at Havelock, which is a leisurely duration. You can also do it in 2 days, if you are in hurry – but then what is the point of coming to the Andamans if you are in a hurry .

In terms of food, do try of Something Different, a wonderful place both for its vibe and décor and its food.

Phone signals will keep on playing truant with you in Havelock and consider yourself lucky if you get some. Internet is 2G and available only in select hotels, that too in their lobby. But frankly, that’s a bliss!

Neil Island (Shaheed dweep)

From Havelock we again took a ferry to Neil islands, which is further south of Havelock and is probably 1/3^rd the size of Havelock. We were putting up at the luxurious “Seashell” resorts, but found that its sister property “Samsara” had a better access to the beach.

Neil’s major attraction is the big Bharatpur beach, which is probably the biggest and the most flattish beach I have seen. You can indulge in all sorts of water sports in here, of which a glass bottom boat ride to explore the coral life is a must.

There are just 4 beaches in Neil, Bharatpur (the biggest, and for water sports), Laxmannagar (sunset is awsum here) , Sitapur and Ramnagar (for sunrise). Sadly the other brother from Ramayana doesn’t find a space in here :P. Again, travelling is best hiring a 2 wheeler which are very easy to get.

A must view at Neil is the Natural Coral Bridge formation. It’s a small trek over dead coral reefs but is worth the effort. You not only get to see myriad corals almost on surface but also numerous wonderful bunches of fishes, starfishes and other sea life in the small pools of water strewn all around.

and dark blue (ignore the blue fish called dori)

On the culinary front, I would recommend Organic Khao as the best restaurant in this small but lively island. You will receive phone signals but no internet as usual.

At the end of another 3 amazing days at Neil, we took a ferry back to Port Blair and took our flight back to Delhi. As I type these words, am already missing the clear blue skies and clean air to breathe, and life in its purest form! Am coming back for sure. Till then……

How the con pawned me

In 1692 Sir Isaac Newton was struck by a strange dilemma- not by the apple for a change! But that of counterfeiting of the the coins and notes issued by the Royal Mint. As Master of the Royal Mint he was playing a cat and mouse chase game with a man named William Chaloner. William had a long history running con games dealing mostly with counterfeiting coins and dies. On the side he was also busy dealing the wrong sides with his female associates, while his wife maintained the house, and the books of his con profits. He changed his demeanor and quickly started mingling with the gentlemen of 17th century England. At some point he was dealing out more authentic looking Bank of England notes than the mint itself! It took a meticulous pursue by Sir Isaac Newton to finally catch him and put him to gallows on 22th March 1699.

Some Catch me if you can there

You bet! And the pages of history are full of such stories. Some of the more recent ones that have been made famous are the ones of another “William”, Frank William Abagnale Jr. In 1963 at the age of 15 he started his cons which consisted of impersonations and counterfeiting. The most outrageous are the ones in which he impersonated as a Pan Am pilot and used the pilots uniform to fly more than a million mile and even flew a plane at 30000 ft, all when he was barely 18 and knew not to fly even a kite. His cons included those of being a physician, a lawyer, FBI agents…the list goes on. All the while he kept on forging cheques to bankroll his lifestyle.

What’s the deal here?

I know, its year end, and quite a few might be going through expectation reality mismatch events, but would still like to look forward to 2020 with renewed expectation. I personally took a call on indulging in little online retail therapy, and decided to do a little shopping on Snapdeal. And like the snap on Thanos’ finger, somebody just decided to erase that moment of happiness. I get a call from a random number next day, from a person with a very thick, rustic accent. And the conversation goes like : “Saar you have shopped from Snapdeal company, and so you are the winner. We will give you a Tata Safari car, but for that you need to transfer the GST for this gift, please transfer Rs6,406 to the account number which I will share with you.” It was like a classic “Et tu Brute?” moment for me after the year end. It was the rude awakening that I have been pawned! And the the realization that cons are not just out there on movie screens and news paper reports, but at the very ,moment they might be going through your digital footprints to pick on you and your gullible moment.

So where is the Newton to save us?

Well we all have to eat up apple of wisdom and just start covering our footsteps to keep a mile ahead of the non-existent Tata Safari dealers. IMO keeping multiple phone numbers and separating your banking and financial numbers from other social media and/or shopping sites maybe a good beginning. At least that’s what I do and feel a but better out of this raw deal. Any way, X Mas is near and so is a new year, so let me order online a cake and have it too! And to all, a very merry x mas and a happy new year!

The im(perfect) storm over a tea cup

There is something about Tea, protests and November. Mixed together, they seem to create a concoction which can shake up an empire, and create a new world order. This is a long story, so hold on to your horses.

Like all “burning” problems, this story too gets sowed in the month of May, 1773. Till then, the British East India company use to sell tea from China in American colonies without paying certain levies to the colonies. Now if you have created your opinion of boorish pre-revolutionary American colonies from “Gangs of New York”, beer was increasingly being considered as health hazard – mainly because the dubious quality water being used(no bisleri yet you see). Tea, on the other hand, being structurally cured of all impurities because of the boiling process, was being hailed as the safer, tastier alternative – one which was being lapped up in shiploads. Sensing an opportunity, Britain decided to levy additional taxes on colonies to augment revenues and subsidize tea taxes in mainland Britain, in form of the infamous Tea Act. This left a very bitter aftertaste in the mouth of the colonists and they decided to hold wide spread protests (Salt tax in India anyone?). Things reached a nadir by winter, and on November 29, 1773 (the date also happens to be our marriage anniversary, no wonder!) all hell broke loose. The tea ship Dartmouth was refused entry in Boston port and thus started the series of cascading events which ultimately led to the destruction of ~ 342 chests of tea (Dec 16) and world had the great Boston Tea Party – and an independent America.

Tea much! So why should I bother?

With a major market lost, the attention of British East India company shifted to its crown jewel, India. They succeeded only during 1820’s and regions like Assam and Darjeeling grew to be major tea hubs. As tide slowly turned over the century and India gained her independence, Indian conglos started acquiring marque British names in the tea world, like Tetley and Typhoo. And we became the 2nd largest producer(1.3bn kgs) and consumers of tea in the world. The branded market size is close to 13,000 Crores.

And then Chaayos happened

Launched in (ahem!) November, 2012 , Chaayos has given the branded tea market a much needed steam. With store counts growing at 100% yoy and revenues at 300% yoy its only natural to attract VC attention. With a $5mn investment in 2015, it was at its time the only non-tech investment by Tiger Global.The key to its growth is suppose to be high repeat customer rate (~42%), which is aided by both product innovation and use of technology. From POS to ERP to CRM everything is handled by platforms designed in-house, gathering and analyzing a veritable treasure trove of customer data – to one end, revenue and profit maximization.

So where do I come in the picture dude?

On November the 16th (yes again!), I went to have simple cup of tea at one of Chaayos’s counters in Ardee Mall, Gurugram. Instead, I was made to stand in front of a huge tab where the store manager tried taking my mugshot! Feeling much like how Stallone’s John Rambo felt when he was interrogated in First Blood (must watch!) with the whole store staff staring down on me, I was really taken aback. Apparently all these was to make the customer experience “smooth”, by capturing her facial data and linking it to personal keys like phone number and mail id (just like you do when a new inmate walks into a prison first time). Just that, they simply forgot to ask the most basic and important question, “may I have your kind permission please!”. No customer is asked for consent, no customer is explained the reason and process, and no customer is explained the T&Cs of the sheer invasion of privacy. It was heartening to see that others have picked up the issue and have started protesting too. Its really high time we start taking notice of these innocuous looking dangers lurking around us. Imagine, almost all your phones can now be opened by facial recognition, devices which store almost all your personal data. A simple breach of any of random facial data being stored by anyone (Chaayos in this case) and your personal data would be at risk. (And don’t give me the highest level of data security BS, we have seen all that in recent times, nothing is 100% secured).

Whats the way forward then?

A little awareness. If we all are as aware in the digital highway as we are on a real one, and look out for ourselves similarly, things would be exponentially difficult for hackers. Ask a simple question to anybody and everybody who asks for your personal details for as simple as a candy in an airport, why? The day we really start treating our contact details as real keys, Novembers can become real party time!

The night I lost my (only!) audience

I was sure this day is going to come, sooner rather than later. I was in fact more surer than Rakhi was about her Karan-Arjun coming. Just that I was not ready to accept the fact – I saw the signs all over, yet decided to bury my face inside the sand like the proverbial camel.

Ever since you were a little boy, a little later after your first birthday, dropping and picking you up from the daycare was my daily chore. Little did you use to speak, other than the occasional “babba-mumma”, “jhis”,”moon” and some more gibberish. The road to the daycare use to fill up with my trying to strike up a conversation with you. And some time we use to have.

This little story telling session soon spread to our bedroom as well. With me buying new, warm and fresh smelling editions of TinTin and reading it up with you. Yes, those were the very first books that you started “reading”.

Then you joined school, and our daily story-telling took an unique turn, unknown to almost everyone. Kind of our secret! We will jump inside the Tiago, buckle you up, crank up the engine, look at the clock – realise we are running late at 7.40 AM, and you will say “Baba story”? And off went for a 15 minute story on god-knows-what topic (always chosen by you, with then ending decided) and dare the story end before we reached the school gate! Some days this question was asked when we were inside the lift. On days when we use to fight, with a round of Ganga Yamuna already flowing from your beautiful eyes because I have given a very big piece of my agitated mind, you will still ask – “Story?” – as if its all right we fought, but is the story session on?

I still remember the day we visited Longewala in Rajasthan, and you watched Border after returning from the trip. The “Battle of Longewala” session continued for close to 4-5 months!

And why am I writing all of these, waking up, at 10.30 in the night? Because today, on 5th of November, 2019, Ayam, you read a book, hitherto not read by you, all on your own, reading up complex words like “hitherto, enough, yardstick” and reading a full chapter, non-stop, unaided.

And in a moment of surprise and happiness, it also suddenly dawned on me – you don’t need me anymore for your stories! This filling station of imaginary tales, where you use to visit everyday to fill up your tank with its daily dose of stories, suddenly became redundant.

Today I lost my only audience.

Go, explore the world Ayam, good night, sweet dreams, shokale dekha hobe 🙂

The carry trade in water

I love traveling in trains. Despite the statistical and periodal proof that air travel is both safe and faster, the feeling of being grounded (literally) all the time takes away an unnecessary variable from the equation of journey. Added to it that Indian Railway gives you so much diversity in both terrain and co-passenger to bide time with…alongwith few truckloads of plastics during my 14 hr journey from Delhi to Durgapur.

From the moment you alight the Sealdah bound New Delhi Rajdhani Express, the premier most train in the railways stock, you are bombarded with a steady wave of this WMD in various forms – wet tissue, hand sanitizers, plates, cutlery, wrappers, wrappers over wrappers, sachets of sauce, tea, coffee et al. And the most important of them all – Rail Neer. The cost of convenience has never been so large.

But this was not the case always. I still have vivid memories of carrying our own water in those big, bulky milton water coolers whenever we use to travel. And those dash by my father towards water taps at all major train stations, and the anxious waits for him to return, gloriously, dangling the fruit of battle in his hands. Food was to be bought from the stations and used to come wrapped in newspaper (packaging used to be newsworthy literally!). And who can forget the chaiwallah (not the one you are thinking about) calling out in the morning, balancing clay kulhars the size of our fiscal deficit in one hand and one big hot kettle of extremely sweet tea on the other. It had some character must say.

What happened then?

It changed somewhere between 1986-89, when Madhav Rao Scindia became the Railways Minister. He came out with the “novel” idea of replacing steel cutlery being used in the trains till then with easily disposable plastic ones. And thus started the saga of carpet bombing of mountains of indestructible plastic junks all along the thousands of miles of railway lines.

So the government is responsible?

Not entirely, because private enterprise was soon to latch up to this unique idea of making money out of something free. Enter Parle and their acquisition of the Italian (not again!) brand Bisleri. Though the buy out happened way back in 1969, it was not until the railways showed the true potential of the idea of packaged drinking water. So entered the Rs 5 for 500ml PET bottled bisleri in 1995 and the rest is history. At 1995 level government salaries, it was just 0.19% of median monthly salaries. Come 2019, the same bottle now costs Rs10, meaning 0.06% of median monthly salaries. So the poison has only become cheaper.

But are we only looking at one side of the coin here?

Not exactly. It did solve a problem in here when it was introduced, the issue of reliable potable water – much imitating the Italian (and maybe pan – European) issue faced post WW2. We were just 50 years behind in catching up to the same solution – just that it led us to heaps of pollution 2 decades later.

But why talk about water and plastic when the burning issue is something else?

Because in this unintended action-consequence story, the causality lies buried deep inside mother earth – ground water! In 2009, the Preservation of Subsoil water Act in Punjab forced the farmers to shift the crop cycle by 6 weeks during the summers. This is resulting in the hurry to clear the fields during the winters for the Rabi crops by the only economic way(Rs.6000 per acre vs. a matchstick) possible, burning. The western winds by now then brings these smokes back to the powerhouse Delhi, and we choke. Think more, and old delhites will know this air pollution issue was not there pre-2009. This hard hitting video by Shekhar Gupta will clear all the air(no puns!) on this burning topic.

Do we have any hopes?

Cycles do turn, and sleeping bureaucracy also does wake up. What started off with the railways 2 decades back, seems to be turning a full cycle back. Going back to earthen and bio degradable cutlery. Hopefully before our lungs burn out, we will cough out some solution to the root cause of crop burning as well.

Crime n Punishment – and all that shines

My wife ‘A’ once said “we are the children of recession”. No wonder, having graduated from Engineering school in 2003 we were just sailing out the trough of the dot-com bubble. We saw our seniors being consoled by big names like Motorola – gifting a mobile phone in lieu of the job offers being rescinded. B -school followed and we joined the market of “seemingly” boom era of 2007 – and boom it went in 2008. Sitting in 2019 as we hear the drumbeats of another possible recession (if consumer and auto numbers in India are to go by), I can’t just wonder to think when will we ever grow up 🙂 from this eternal cycle of recession inflicted childhood.

But am not gonna add MBs to the recession-on recession-off debate on which enough of prime time is already devoted. What is interesting though, is the emergence of a strange and disturbing pattern – something I encountered from very close corners and am now seeing being reported on newspapers everyday (yes, I still love to go through stale news the next day, page by page, column by column). Chain snatching.

What are you linking at?

In late 2008, on a chilly evening, my mother went out for her now-ritualistic short stroll to my sisters house. She has taken this well-lit thoroughfare in the quaint neighborhood for more than 5 years now. Little did she know that she was being followed by a couple of bike-borne youth who had meticulously marked their victim that evening. As soon as she neared a small park where kids were still playing football, these 2 sped up and using much trained slight of hand, snatched at the chain on her neck. In a microsecond, they looted a senior citizen off her wealth, resulted in a deep gash in her neck, and gave her a mental trauma that refused to leave her even today. She ended up in a medical center and as another statistic in the rising cases of chain snatching in the state that year. Even now I see her putting her hand on her neck reflexively whenever she hears a bike behind her, without even realizing at times. That’s another reason why I somehow can relate to these sudden flood of news across media of chain snatching bike borne gangs at play.

Crime is always there, its upto us what we choose to see!

Agree, crime is a socioeconomic statistic, which is only given heed to when it breaks a trend. That’s what made me look up this chart above. The year 2008 was not a normal year, we were witnessing one of the biggest slowdown of Global economy as GFC hit us in its full force. Gold was turning out to be the only safe and stable instrument to park your capital, and the rising price was a testament to it, till 2012. And the crooks knew it (not bankers, these are the types who go to jail am talking about!). Do also note the period of relatively flat gold price (2012-2018) and almost no mention of chain-snatching news. And if I can call this a snatching indicator, then be ready for more such news to fill the pages and cages.

So now you beat the economy for crime rates as well!

Humankind has been through 3 major evolution(or rather revolutions) in its ~300,000 years of existence. And none of them have been all-inclusive, it just cannot be. Starting from Agricultural revolution, if you are to believe Yuval Noah Harari and his postulates in Sapiens, it solved the hunger problem for a broad range of humans, most individuals (and animals) were worse-off since their diet and daily lives became significantly less varied. Humans’ violent treatment of other animals is indeed a theme that runs throughout the book.

The era of Industrial Revolution was no better.

https://journals.openedition.org/chs/737?lang=en

Its not just happenstance that every great economic cycle makes the population pass through heightened criminal activities. We might legitimize/explain it as the have-have not strife being magnified during times of high degrees of uncertainties. And the current scenario is the cycle playing it through. My only concern is that in every past cycle, we have solved some of the biggest problems that human beings faced at large, or added efficiency to – food-> clothing-> capital goods-> computing. In its current avatar, this revolution (AI/automation at large) seems to benefit the second derivative, i.e. industries, and not human kind at large.

So what makes you hopeful?

That the data (and here I am believing that the historical data is statistically tenable) also shows that over the years we have become less violent as a species (or changed the definition of crime, ex wars?hope not!). Till then, hold on to your gold (quite literally, especially when you are out :P) and hope the cycle turns.

Disclaimer: All views are strictly personal. Reference materials are publicly available sources.Thoughts have copyright, so no rights to copy.

The cost of an SMS

An amorous, young zamindar descendant, heir to ~ 1500 sq.km land in colonial Bengal,contracts syphilis for obvious reasons, is taken to Darjeeling for recovery, never recovers and apparently dies in May 1909. His wife and brother-in-law(careful about this species, we really have an apt name for them in India :P) completes his last rites hundreds of miles away from their home, returns and declare his death and take over the property rights (no whatsapp those days you see!). All good till in 1920, a mysterious sadhu appears in the scene, who as people say, looked an exact replica of the dead prince-ling. Some cajoling later he claimed he’s the now-dead-kumar, who was poisoned a decade back and left for dead by guess who? Thus started a 25 year old legal battle through various courts and privy council and what not to establish his identity. He was declared the rightful heir at all levels with the final judgement affirming his rights on 30th July,1946. Ominously he died the same evening of a stroke (maybe an overdose of joy). The case is famously known as the (wiki link) Bhawal Raja case and has been the subject of quite a few movies as well (old here and most recent here).

So why am I suddenly talking of a dead prince?

Are you really dead when you are dead-dead or is it when it is documented strongly enough without any counterfactual evidences that you are dead…whoof! That brings us to the very definition of a person in legal terms- he/she who possess enough legally verifiable documents to prove one’s identity. You change the documents, and you can change the person. The case mentioned above is one of the earliest (and extremely interesting) cases of identity theft in 20th century India. Since then a lot of water has flown through Ganga carrying with it many ingenious cases of identity theft.

Why should I be bothered?

Because as my last post said, we are a nation of optimists – and worse case scenarios only play out with others! So why worry? And anyhow, who will take the pains of taking over my identity and for what purpose? Are you mad? So what if we rank 2nd only to the US in terms of occurrences of cyber crimes in the World, with 49% of our online population being targeted at least once in their lifetime. And if you are reading this my dear, in English and on a device, you are the elite 1% of this very lucrative target base. We dole out our email addresses, phone numbers, PAN numbers, AADHAR details – all strictly personal data (rather, absolutely unique keys to our digital self) at the mere luring of 10Rs cashback…that’s the price we set for ourselves and our privacy. That’s also the price we set for our “very real” wealth…stored in the digital world of bank deposits, mutual funds, stocks, bonds etc etc etc. The key to all those “real wealth” – at the end of the day – is the humble OTP message we all despise, and dole out to one and all. (Yes ladies and gentlemen! Almost all of us have given all encompassing rights to the hundreds of apps sitting in our smartphones). They all read our SMSes and so do the malwares residing in some dark corners of our phones. And leave aside sophisticated malwares, haven’t you received a call on your phones, asking for some OTP on the pretext of some offer? They are now so rampant and so well organized, they might be eligible for 59 minutes SME loans from the Banks :).

Hey! I use an iPhone you know?

Oh really! And that makes you a Lannister? Time to wake up and face reality, shall we? The point I am trying to make is that you don’t forget to lock your house before leaving (unguarded DDA or securitized DLF), so do the same for your digital self. Lock unnecessary access to tom-dick n harry apps (WTH do your hotel rating app need access to your SMS and Contacts?). Wherever possible, try to type in the OTP instead of letting the app read it automatically (OMG! Its such a waste of time! I was watching the zth episode of the nth binge-series!). Ask the counter person at the mall why she/he needs my contact number at all? Easy returns! BS! I have the bill to prove my purchase. Logins using google or facebook profile? Are you really that lazy? Think, before you reveal (no puns intended!).

And if you are near the proverbial cliff, let me give the final push..watch The Great Hack on netflix.

Disclaimer: all views strictly personal. All references from public sources. Author retains copyright on all articles.